


There's One Born Every Minute

by Lyra_Kero



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, At least that was the plan, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Funny, M/M, Movie Night, Netflix and Chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14355708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyra_Kero/pseuds/Lyra_Kero
Summary: Lance is meeting with his boyfriend for a round of Netflix and Chill! If only Keith picked a better movie...





	There's One Born Every Minute

**Author's Note:**

> I uh... just wanted to write some fluff. My friend suggested a "movie night" and so... -gestures-  
> Also does it count as Netflix and Chill if you're watching a movie not on Netflix? What would that be?  
> DVD and... Unwind?
> 
>  
> 
> Relevant enough to say the title is from the Dickie's song Killer Klowns

Lance knocked at the door, humming as he waited for Keith to answer. He looked down to the two bags he was carrying, one was from Wendy’s with food for both him and his boyfriend, the other was a plain plastic bag for what they had planned for later that night.

 

Sex. It had condoms and lube for sex. Lance was set for a round of Netflix and Chill.

 

He smiled more, leaning against the doorframe when his boyfriend answered and waggled his eyebrows, “Well, hello there.” he purred out, “Did you order a long, spicy sausage?” Keith didn’t seem impressed.  
“I did, but it seems I only got a Vienna sausage.” Ouch.

“And to think I bought you a frosty and fries. You filthy heathen.” Lance walked into the apartment, toeing off his shoes as Keith closed the door behind him.  
“You’re one to talk. You put pineapple on pizza.” the darkhaired man countered, picking up the bag from Wendy’s and opened it, taking the small frosty that Lance had tucked inside and one of the containers of fries.  
“So do you, don’t try and change the subject.” Lance frowned, his nose scrunching up as he watched Keith dunk his fries into the chocolate and eat it. “Gross.”

“Shut up.” Keith smiled, sticking out his tongue as he walked back over to the couch and sat down. “I made popcorn. I didn’t know you were gonna be fancy and get take out.”  
“Only the best for you.” Lance said, winking as he moved to plop down next to him. “So what are we watching, babe?”

“Killer Klowns from Outer Space.” his boyfriend said, smirking as he moved to snuggle closer. He looked over to the plastic bag and raised an eyebrow. “You seem to have come prepared.”  
“Oh!” Lance leaned over, digging through the bag and pulled out a small package and tossed it over to him.

“Fire and Ice?” Keith read, “Seriously?”  
“Be adventurous.” Lance said, grinning.  
“Lance, the last time we were adventurous we wound up in the emergency room because I cracked my head on the side of the tub.”

“And we agreed to never have shower sex again.” the taller man shuddered, remembering the giggles from the staff when they told them what happened. “Besides, this will be fine.” He moved his arm back around Keith’s shoulders and kissed his cheek. Keith only gave a grunt in response and reached for the remote to start the movie.

 

“Hush, you.” Keith teased, kissing him back. “Watch the movie.”  
“Mhmm, yeah.” Lance relaxed into him and they snuggled together.

 

Lance’s hand had begun to rub Keith’s shoulder, coaxing the shorter man closer, but soon he stopped his hand and raised an eyebrow. “Is this for real?” he asked, listening as the movie started with a theme song.  
“I like it.” his boyfriend said, “It’s catchy.”  
“You would like it.” Lance rolled his eyes, but smiled and held him closer.

 

“Did that guy just say his dog’s name is Poo?”  
“I think he means it like Pooh Bear.” Keith said. A while later he scrunched up his face. “Why is he so calm about finding a fucking circus tent in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere?”  
“The village idiot at work.” Lance groaned, stretching out his legs and gently tugged on Keith’s, bringing them over his own.

 

Lance’s hand began to trace and tease up along Keith’s legs, before Keith began to giggle. “Oh my god! They were on a date! Leave those poor boys alone!” he said, covering his face.  
“So rude to these boys.” the taller man shook his head. “He’s such a dickbag.”

 

Keith turned his head, gently kissing along Lance’s jaw, down to his neck. Lance gave out a soft noise, his head leaning back, before they both began to laugh. “That is a terrible voice.” Lance said, closing his eyes. “What does she see in this guy?”  
“His dick better be huge.” Keith let out a squeal and pulled back, laughing as Lance began to tickle him.

 

They both looked up at a scream and began to giggle. “Wait, wait, what is that? Cotton candy?”  
“They.. they’re wrapped in cotton candy!” The two watched the movie, giggling more when the titular klowns appeared on screen. “Oh my god, they’re adorable!”  
“Look at the little one!” Lance pointed to the screen. “He’s so tiny!”

 

Lance sat up more, letting Keith get back into a seated position, and reached for the popcorn. He began to eat before laughing. “Popcorn! They’re shooting popcorn!”  
“This is the best fucking movie ever.” Keith said, laughing when Lance tossed some popcorn at him. “Stop that!”  
“I’m attacking you! With spooky popcorn!!” Lance said, laughing.  
“Don’t waste my popcorn! I slaved over a stove top for it!”  
“It’s Jiffy Pop!”  
“You’re Jiffy Pop.” The two of them stopped, looked to one another, then burst out laughing again. The cuddled closer again, looking back towards the screen, the bag of condoms and lube soon forgotten in favor of MSTing the fuck out of the film.

 

_“What are you gonna do?” the biker asked the tiny Klown, who was geared up in boxing gloves, doing his best to act tough, “Knock my block off?”_   
_With a grunt, the klown’s fist came up, the biker’s group screamed as his head went flying, landing in a trashcan._   
_“Damn.” one of the other bikers said._

 

“Are you shitting me?” Lance howled, “Damn? That’s it? The guy just got his head fucking launched and all you have to say is Damn?!”  
“What else can you say to something like that?” Keith asked, rubbing at his eyes to dry the tears from laughing.

 

“This guy is a terrible cop.” Lance said, pointing to the screen. “The whole town has gone to shit and he’s not doing anything.”  
“I swear he better be eaten by a balloon animal or something.” Keith muttered, licking the salt off his fingers before looking forlornly at his empty container of fries.  
Instead, they watched as a Klown walked into the police station and be promptly arrested. “No, don’t put them in with them!” the black haired man said, “Those boys didn’t do nothing wrong!”  
“Rip in pepperoni.” the taller man laughed as Keith kicked at his leg.

 

_“The park’s closed. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Instead of leaving, the klown took a step to one side from the vehicle, allowing another klown to exit. A third, more portly klown followed after. The guard only stared in shock as a total of five klowns exited the car and produced a creme pie._   
_“What are you going to do with those pies, boys?” the security guard was promptly pelted with dozens upon dozens of pies, falling to the ground. The klowns walked past and into the fun house, the camera panning down to show the guard reduced to nothing but a sizzling creme mound on the ground. The tiniest klown stopped to place a cherry on top, giving an approving sound._

 

“Why is that tiny one so adorable?” Keith asked, giggling.  
“I’m more concerned why everyone is so calm when these obviously not right clowns are being creepy as fuck.” Lance groaned, rubbing his face, “Where did you even find this one?”  
“It was five bucks and the cover was awesome looking.” his boyfriend pointed to the DVD still on the table.

 

As the movie came to an end, the cast of heroes all being covered in creme, Lance looked over to Keith. “You spent five bucks on this movie?”  
“It’s the best five bucks I’ve ever spent.” Keith smiled, leaning his head against Lance’s shoulder, “You can’t tell me otherwise.”  
“I can, actually. But I guess it’s not the worst thing you spent your money on.” Keith’s face instantly turned red, and his eyes narrowed.  
“Okay, no. You said you wanted to try something new in the bedroom and we bought it together you jerk!”  
“I’m just saying --”  
“We agreed to never talk about that again.” Keith stood up from the couch, moving to start picking up the stray popcorn from Lance’s earlier buffoonery.

 

“Fine, fine.” Lance stood up as well, stretching out his legs and began to pick up their trash as well. He looked over to his boyfriend, grinning slightly. “You did manage to offer great room service, though. Even if you sprained your ankle in those heels.” he yelped, running out of the living room and down towards Keith’s bedroom as the shorter man began to throw the pieces of popcorn at him, chasing him down.

“Get back here, McClain!”


End file.
